I think everyone feels out of place. Weird. Odd. Different. Those feelings resonated with me growing up because I have an extremely colourful personality.
Pictures by my girl Raya at Style Controversy
Almost in my mid-twenties, I realized that I allowed the world around me to soften my edges. And dull some of my bright sides. I was super bubbly and chatty as a kid, and while I retained some of that lustre, it just wasn't the same.
Shirt: Gap, Pants, Gap, Shoes: Urban Outfitters, Purse: Zara Vest: Similar
Passive aggressive comments and jealous remarks from people I considered to be friends weighed heavy on me. 'What's wrong with me?' I used to think. 'Why can't I just be normal?' I used to ask myself. Even before I was homeschooled for most of high school, I would ponder on my inability to be able to fit in and the anxiety I had surrounding it. I often spent lunch breaks alone and explored the historical neighbourhood I grew up in by myself. Or I volunteered at my school library and buried myself in the plots of my heroes, getting lost in their fictional lives that seemed as tragic as my own.
I also grew up in a pretty strict and religious household. So I couldn't go out to parties or dress like everyone else. Being pulled out of school seemed to be the final nail in the coffin that was my blah social life.
But all of these things made me, me. I wouldn't change any of it. Instead, I've tried to embrace what I can't change and just roll with the punches. I won't allow criticism to shape me unless it's constructive and from the heart.
Do you have a colourful personality, too? Let me know in the comments!
