In middle school, I thought the way to fit in was to cut others down. I felt that being nice only got me taken advantage of…so instead I was mean. Really mean. I wrote things on bathroom stalls I wish I hadn't. I publicly pointed out the faults in others that I hated in myself, all just to seem funny. But I hated it. I couldn’t stand it.
My spirit was uplifted when I sang in my school choir at seniors homes, volunteered at my library and served at a homeless shelter on Christmas. But I kept all of that to myself because it didn’t match my ‘follower’ mentality and actions.
But why did I keep doing it? I didn’t know my worth outside of how other’s measured it. So I chose to be mean so people would include me…so I could be kept around as the funny girl. So I wouldn’t be thought of as the weird girl who always wore skirts, was too chubby and desperate for friends. But that’s who I was. Rather than embrace it I was mean. This was difficult to write because I’ve worked so hard to separate myself from who I was when really I should accept it to learn from it. To teach me how to treat others. Instead of doing to them as they’ve done to me: do better. I had to learn who I was to know who I’m not. I’m proud to say that I don’t identify as a mean girl anymore. It doesn’t mean that I don’t occasionally have foot in mouth syndrome. Sometimes my mouth works faster than my consciousness and I slip up and say something I didn’t intend to be mean but was still insensitive or inappropriate. But I'm learning.
What came out of your mouth today? What did you hear around you? What did you see? Hearing, speaking and seeing No Evil isn't a passive thing; it's active. To not see, hear or say negative things against others you need to take a stand within yourself to speak up and stand up for those around you.
Just remember...before you can use your voice for others, you have to find it first.
My favourite shades of the Maybelline Colour Sensational Creamy Mattes lipsticks in: Rich Ruby, Burgundy Blush, Nude Nuance, Vibrant Violet.
*Some products used in this post were provided free of charge, all opinions are my own.